The beginning of a new chapter!

I got a job? I FINALLY GOT A JOB!
After 3 months of waiting and searching, i finally got a job.
I am beyond grateful for such blessing but at the same time, i cant lie to myself that i had wished that it could be at Christchurch instead of Auckland.
I understand that beggars cant be choosy so i HAVE to no matter what.

I have less than a week left before i leave my lovely Christchurch,
To be exact, i have around 5 days.
There are just so many things i want to do but i am not even sure if i can do it.

Most importantly, i want to spend time with Mai.
I am definitely going to miss her.
After December, she is going back for good and there will be no more Mai in NZ.
For 2+ years, she has been my closest and best-est friend here.
She means a lot to me and i think i havent shown enough appreciation to her.

Of course there's Adam.
But i just feel sad thinking about it so im not going to write anything about it.
All i ever hope is for us to last for as long as we can.
I do want us to last for more than a year but we all know, the future is full of surprises.
BUT STILL, I WISH IT WOULD LAST FOR A VERYYYY LONG TIME.
All we ever  talk about now is 'good break up.'
It hurts because whenever this crosses my mind, i just could not stop myself from not crying.
First love does hurt and when it does, it hurts the most.
A break up is still a break up.
Good or bad, it will hurt.
I know myself; hating it is easier than moving on,
And that is exactly what i cant do.

I am a person who wants to be certain in everything i do.
I like to know that i have a proper plan for my future.
The uncertainty and anxiety are just ....
But i just have to have faith in me, and him.
I love it when he knows how to make me feel better.
Sometimes, it feels like he's too perfect that i need to catch my breath and think.

Lel.
Thats all.