Are you happy?

Someone close to me once asked me, "Are you happy?".
That question caught me for a while and made me think.
'Am i happy?' A question that i asked myself frequently since then.
I wanted to take medicine, to be a doctor and to serve the poor and the unfortunate with my  knowledge and skills but i failed.
I changed my path and i am on the road on becoming someone who serves the society in different way.
Was i happy?
When i decided to change my path, it was hard. Hard to accept the fact that all the plans that i had planned since i was in high school are useless. It was hard to change path especially when you found out that your grandma actually had a high hope on seeing you wearing a white robe that she called savior robe. Hard to know that your mother did not fully support your decision and hard accept that the burden of bringing a scroll from medicine school now lies on your beloved brother's shoulder. So, was i happy? No.
Am i happy now?
Im in a pathway to be someone that i never thought i would ever be. An accountant in a corporate world. No, i never had the slightest idea that i would ever be one. But, past is a past and i am here now. I can't go back and have to keep going. What keeps me going? Support that i have now. Tons of it from every single person that i love. I am grateful for that.
Living in a college with people taught me a lot. It taught me to be strong to fight homesick, flexible with people and works and also, matured in making decisions. I am not that good with people so due to that, i often have problems with my relationship. Not in the romantic kind of way but more towards the way i communicate with them and how i maintain a good relationship with them. I don't know if it's me who is afraid to be my whole true self or people from the other side. I have met a lot and until now, only few that i know i can keep.
 'Am i happy?' to live in a society that i know is hard for me to blend in and to keep on muttering bad words under my breath every times i heard something about myself? Yes but it is a strong word and i would most probably say, barely. I know i should look mostly everything on  the bright side and things are not that bad when i know, i have my reliable friends with me when my family is away. I do feel alone but i know, when in need, they will be there. I realized that i can't please everyone and life is not about satisfying people's need but more like what you need. However, it is important to understand others so that happiness can be shared because the feeling of sharing some happiness is greater  than enjoying my happiness alone.
So, generally speaking, i am happy with what i have and with what i am doing but i know, deep down, some of my actions are wrong and i just don't want to admit it. I don't know, sometimes, being selfish is the only way to make me realize on how important my happiness is.
I might be selfish, inconsiderate and annoying but if i keep on thinking about other people, I can't decide my own happiness.